The following is a descriptive essay by Kimberly Cardenas.  May it serve as yet another reminder of the fleeting nature of life.  Leave your comments for Kimberly...

The day I felt that everything fell apart right before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do was on August 4, 2007. It was the day the most important person in my life passed away, my mother.   Never did I think this day would come as soon as it did.  As I walked away from the hospital that afternoon, I felt like a new person with no direction.  I felt empty as if someone had taken a piece of my heart and broke it into a thousand pieces.  I  didn’t know what to feel at that moment, I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t smile, I couldn’t  really process what was going on . I was numb.  I had many mixed feelings, emotions, and thoughts going on about where I should go from there. 

I remember this day like it was yesterday and I hate looking back at this day because it reminds me of the worst day of my life.  Remembering the horrible feeling I felt in my stomach, the loneliness I felt in my heart, and the desire to pour my eyes out.  It was the day I felt I got robbed from life and, from the most important person that existed in my life.  From my mom’s brown Shirley Temple curls to her sweet smell, and her beautiful pearly white teeth that could light up any room, I miss her and her genuine sweet personality.  She filled my days with happiness and love.  Her presence made my day.  She treasured me because I was her baby but, I treasured her as if she was my baby.  

Living in a small town in El Salvador and growing up in a household with only one parent, my mom was forced to get a job at the age of fourteen.  She worked very hard, trying to help my grandmother while struggling to go to school and then going to work, which meant there was no time to play or hang out with friends.   My mom lived no childhood fantasy she grew up without a father who neglected her as his daughter and who refused to ever give her anything.  She was forced to grow up quickly and deal with responsibilities that normal children and teenagers don’t ever have to deal with till later on.  My mother knew how to cook, clean and how to maintain a household by the time she was fifteen.  My mother was known to be very pretty, possibly one of the prettiest girls in their town.  She always carried herself with respect and was always a very responsible hard working woman, and many idolized her because of that.

My mom was the first person from her side of the family to make the decision to leave El Salvador and to come to the U.S.   She knew it was time for change in her life and she knew that she could not progress if she didn’t do this.   At age twenty-three, she came to this country not knowing one single soul and without knowing the language fluently.  She lived in a small apartment in Queens, N.Y. while working in a wealthy area in Long Island cleaning houses.  She struggled to make a living, but eventually she made it so she could live comfortably alongside my father who she ended up marrying four years later.

My mother was the sweetest, and most kind hearted, hard working woman that I have ever known.  From cleaning the house spotless, to cooking mouth watering meals, she tried to do it all while being sick. I could not imagine being sick, working, cleaning, coming home to my husband and then having to deal with my children.  It honestly seems like a job for superwoman to me, but that’s what my mother is to me she's my superwoman. She managed to do everything and most of all have time for her children.  I knew I could always go to my mom for anything. She was an amazing person with a heart of gold.

Ever since I could remember my mom has been sick. She felt that she never had the opportunity to live life with me like she did with my two older siblings.  She felt guilty and thought I would resent her for that, and I hope she knows that I would never.  After my mom found out she had leukemia her life felt like a ticking clock.  My mother valued everyday that was given to her and she prayed and thanked god for granting her another day, to spend with her children and family.  My mom always said her children were the most important and valuable things in her life.  She said she always wanted to have a family and if she was granted with a family one day, she wanted the best for them so they wouldn’t ever have to suffer and go through what she did.  She also told us that everything she did, coming to this country and working hard was for us.  So we could one day have the opportunity to go to college, earn our degrees and become successful in life and have a loving family of our own.

I love my mother more than words can express and I know no one is perfect, but in my eyes my mother was perfect in every single way.  I could be having the worst day of my life but I knew she would be there with open arms and ready to tell me the three words that I must have heard everyday till the last that she spent on this earth. - "I love you".  This, along with a kiss on the forehead that always made everything better.  I can't remember one day ever passing by that she didn’t say I love you. Her hellos were more like I love you's and my mother never liked the term goodbye.  She always told me that that goodbye is forever.  So from this day on I always say, see you later to everyone.

The hardest thing to accept is the fact that she isn’t here anymore.  Two years have gone by and I still think of her every single day. I miss her, and her endless loving hugs, and that smile that brightened my day but, what I do miss most of all is yelling out, "mommy.” The love and words my mom instilled in me can never be forgotten.  She dedicated her whole life trying to give me the best that she could and always encouraged me in every possible way.  Sometimes I do get scared that I will forget about her thirty or forty years from now. Then I sit back and think, she's my mom and there is no way you can forget your mother.  She taught me things that I will not ever forget, especially how to love someone and to always be ready to face any challenge thrown at me. She is the best person I have ever met in my life, my inspiration to succeed, and I cannot her compare to anyone.  I am more sure now, than ever that I will always remember my mom, my best friend, my guardian angel and that, she will always live on with me forever.